Goodbye Jerkface


Aaron Boone has finally decided to call it a career and retire. I don’t really recall anything that he did during his career that was noteworthy, other than having open heart surgery at the age of 36 (I thought that only happened to GHABBY), and blowing his knee out to miss the entire 2004 season. Boone, had a quiet career, never winning the World Series, and only hitting 34 home runs in his final five seasons. I bet you didn’t know that he married a Playboy model, so at least he had that going for him, well until the Botox makes her lips look like a giant asshole. So there goes another player, who I swear was only mediocre at best, failed time and time again in the clutch, and never ever EVER had a big postseason hit. EVER. I need a drink.

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2 Responses to “Goodbye Jerkface”

  1. I hope he tears a quad walking into ESPN's offices, Kevin Nash-style.

  2. actually my open heart surgery is scheduled for next week. Blame Sonic chili cheese tots.

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